why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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