imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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