it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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