omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
