is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
