Say something about gay babies.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
