I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
