Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
