Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
