Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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