you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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