Walk of Shame. In a state park.
handjob tips. give me some.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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