so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
