Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
