By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
