Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
