i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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