does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
