am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just invented taco cereal.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
