It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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