found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
