wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
