I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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