you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
