We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
