So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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