Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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