I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why did my mother make you get naked?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
