I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
