did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
