will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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