Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it hurts more in the daytime
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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