i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
