He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wish there were birth control emojis
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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