you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
