it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
