She is in my trunk
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
