Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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