I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
