so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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