Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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