one two three fourrrrnication!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
