nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
