My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
