come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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