So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
