We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
