just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
