Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
