It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
